待ってるからだ忘れないで...TVXQ dont forget cassiopeia...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Today...actually i no need to post blog about my feelings but i really don't know how to express my feelings.My friend also told me that when you cannot express or tell anybody about your feelings,just keep a diary with you but i do not have a diary so i only can post blog...hope i can express my feelings here.
Just now i was eating dinner with my friends,they chatted happily with each other.i wanted to join in the conversation,i had a strong feeling that i was neglected and i could not go inside the world.i felt a bit lonely...all the way i was kept quiet until they noticed me.they wanted me to go inside their world,i didn't know why i rejected to go in rather than i was alone.so i became a bit passive...when it was a meeting time,i didn't know how to face and express feelings to them.they were asking me questions,i felt like do not know how to answer the questions.i only kept saying"i don't know".they hated me to say these three words...i really did not know how to answer.i was not having eye contact with them and giving them an "attitude".i knew could not give them "attitude" so i still done it.and i spoke quite softly but they couldn't simply heard it.they told me to speak louder but i am like unwilling to speak louder...i hope to be alone and neglected by my friends.in your eyes,i have problems...but i do not know how to answer you all so i treat it there is nothing but in my heart i was crying...sometimes when i can't bottle up my feelings,i will cry and i will always cry...i can't stop crying i can not control myself....and i don't know what is my feelings...it is a complicated feelings...that's why i cannot express myself.
that's all i want to say...hope you feel my feelings and i hope you will understand me...signing off~

Happy Green Clover thought hard on 12:32 AM.